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10 October 2007 @ 11:31 am
Kiss and Tell  
Title: Kiss and Tell
Author: jdbracknell
Rating & Warnings: R (strongish, but not explicit, adult themes)
Prompts: Day of discovery, humour or action/adventure, banshee and picture 15 (Temple Bar in Dublin)
Word Count: 6658
Summary: For all his supposed genius, Sirius Black had always had rather a blind spot for the patently obvious.
Author’s Notes: The writer referred to (should you not be able to tell) is Beckett, and the Faces song on the jukebox is Stay With Me, which just screams Sirius at me. Reviewers get a night out in Dublin with their favourite fictional sex god ;).

Kiss and TellCollapse )
Current Mood: sicksick
Lyra: Lyralyra_lupin on October 11th, 2007 02:53 am (UTC)
This was soo good! So many little details in the opening-- I really like the way your wrote Sirius and the bit with Hestia was a nice side story. Also the Banshee and Ireland elements gave it a wonderful fall feel. Well done!
JD: Evil Pumpkin Lady Blady_bracknell on October 11th, 2007 11:00 am (UTC)
Thank you very much :D.

I couldn't resist the Temple Bar picture when it cropped up in the location prompts - it's such an odd place, the mix of old and new there - perfect for a wizarding bar.

Glad you liked it :D.
Jess: importance of siriusjessickuh on October 11th, 2007 03:07 am (UTC)
Remus pressed his fingers into his chin, debating whether or not to challenge the notion of himself as either goody-two-shoes or sidekick, but ultimately decided that the ensuing debate and all the evidence Sirius could bring up to embarrass him really wasn’t worth it. “I’ll confess,” he said, “that you being related to Tonks did, I think, give me an edge I might not have had in other circumstances.”
“Exactly. If we didn’t share genes, I’d have – ”
“Still here,” Tonks said, loudly, glaring at Sirius to fully make the point.

I love it when those three are together. It's always good times. And just for the record, I think that in this case, since Remus is the one getting laid, Sirius should be dubbed as the sidekick.

Sirius and his first ever words to Remus on the Hogwart's express is hilarious. You could really tell just from that line that they're gonna be BFF.

I do feel bad for him though, feeling like he's a third wheel. I wish I had someone of canon to ship him with.

Thanks for this. I'm such a Sirius fangirl, and I knew by just the title, that I was really gonna enjoy reading the story.
JD: Evil Pumpkin Lady Blady_bracknell on October 11th, 2007 11:04 am (UTC)
*loves the icon*

Thank you very much :D.

I just adore Sirius, and I think there's so much potential for him to have mixed emotions about Remus and Tonks getting together - pleased for his mate, but at the same time a bit narked that he's not got his full attention any more. And he's such glorious fun to write.

I'm really pleased you liked it - especially pleased you liked their first meeting. I always imagined Sirius would introduce himself in a way like that, lol.
sspring92sspring92 on October 11th, 2007 03:56 am (UTC)
Loved it
I get so excited when I get my little e-mail stating there are new posts to the jumble! I really enjoyed this! I thought the characters read really true and I laughed all the way till the end! Thanks for your hard work!
JD: Evil Pumpkin Lady Blady_bracknell on October 11th, 2007 11:05 am (UTC)
Re: Loved it
Thank you very much :D.

These three are always a lot of fun to write together :D.
Amy: Sirius Rawr!scarlett71177 on October 11th, 2007 06:55 am (UTC)
*cackle-snort* O_o

I knew I shouldn't have waited until nearly 3am to read this- I'm laughing out loud. I can't begin to name my favorite bits- the whole thing is a riot! You really have the knack of weaving humor in quite wonderfully.

Our poor, tortured Sirius. You played that off so well too. I really can believe he would have put on a brave face but felt a little 'replaced' inside.

Fabulous. Truly.

JD: Evil Pumpkin Lady Blady_bracknell on October 11th, 2007 11:08 am (UTC)
Thank you very much :D.

I just adore Sirius, and he's such great fun to write, this mixture of vast intelligence and utter blindness to the obvious, especially about things that are close to home. I think there's a lot of scope for him having totally mixed feelings about Remus and Tonks, and feeling a little bit abandoned, especially when he's trapped at Grimmauld and Remus is the only person he gets to see regularly.

Glad you liked it :D.
godricgal: All Hallows' Moon Leavesgodricgal on October 11th, 2007 05:43 pm (UTC)
LOL. I should have known better than to try and read this in an internet cafe. ;)

I really enjoyed this; it's a perfect blend of serious and silly. Great job with Sirius, he has some fantastic lines and thoughts, and banshee!sex is different, even for Sirius!

Will definitely be back to re-read this one :)
JD: Evil Pumpkin Lady Blady_bracknell on October 12th, 2007 09:16 am (UTC)
Thank you very much :D.

I daresay Sirius won't make the same mistake twice - "Now, before this goes any further, I have to ask: goth or banshee?".

Glad you liked it :D.
Margo! Boxcar! Saturn!: [hp] i am always behind itchocolatepot on October 11th, 2007 08:39 pm (UTC)
I loved this and I love you! ♥♥♥
JD: Evil Pumpkin Lady Blady_bracknell on October 12th, 2007 09:17 am (UTC)
Thank you very much :D.
mous1elousi3princesstopaz on October 12th, 2007 03:49 am (UTC)
Oh funny, this borders on that crack!smut you were warning about but then I don't think it quite is so that it's just plain humourous. Good work (but then I think you always do that.) :D
I love Sirius in this particularly.
JD: Evil Pumpkin Lady Blady_bracknell on October 12th, 2007 09:18 am (UTC)
Thank you very much :D.

I love writing Sirius - he has such wonderful tragi-comedy potential.

Glad you liked it :D.
mattie: gary oldman smokingstarry_eyed on October 13th, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC)
First things first: yay! SMUT!BANSHEES lol!

Ok, now that I've got that out of my system... ;) Loved this story. I must say, you probably write the best Sirius of all the ones I've read. You somehow make him that perfect mix of jerk, ego maniac, and great guy all at the same time, which I don't read all too often. Several parts of this stood out to me, from all the R/T cuteness (Remus worrying she was going to be mad about Hestia and Tonks just thinking about the fact that he loved her) to Sirius being, well, himself (favorite line: Sometimes, he thought, he really did rue the day Sirius Black had approached him on the Hogwarts Express and introduced himself with the immortal words: ‘budge up, scrawny, I want to put my bag there.’ I so see that.) all in all just equal perfection. As usual. :D
JD: Naked!Siriuslady_bracknell on October 15th, 2007 12:05 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you very much :D.

I'm so pleased you like the way I write Sirius, because I just adore writing him. He's such a great mix of things - all that arrogance and intellect, yet he sometimes needs people to point out the obvious to him, and underneath it all, I think he's got a really big heart. I think that's what makes him endearing, the way he cares so much he's prepared to do nearly anything for those in his life he loves. I can well imagine him driving Remus and Tonks mad, lol.

Glad you liked it :D. I reward your kind words with naked!Sirius ;).
(no subject) - starry_eyed on October 15th, 2007 01:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
phoenixfyre13phoenixfyre13 on October 15th, 2007 12:52 am (UTC)
Well, here's what I think you should do. Write Jo, thell her you'd like the rights to Remus, Tonks and Sirius, and publish me a book of their escapades. Because I would seriously buy it. And pretty much anything else you put out. And I am not just saying that -- I just really love the way you engage your reader. Character and writing style are the first things I look at when a crack a book, and I absolutely love yours.

Okay, sorry, I just really needed to say that because it's been coming for a while. :) Now, to the fic...

I love that your Sirius is such a total git, but there is still that sadness and bittersweet envy over everything he has lost that still allows him to tug at your heart. I love that you played with this notion of his jealousy over R/T, not because he wanted to deny them each other, but because he knew he was looking at something he would most likely never have. Very heartbreaking.

And of course, in all that heartrending stuff, there was enough humour to keep it from becoming a sobfest for poor pitiful Sirius. Oh lord, I absolutely loved it! A banshee. Perfect. And I love how he came to terms with it, trying to brush it off like anyone could have mistaken her for a "normal" woman. I suppose you’ve never accidentally ended up in bed with someone who turned out not to be exactly what you expected when the lights came on again? Fabulous.

Wonderful job! A wonderful snigger before climbing into bed. :D

JD: Naked!Siriuslady_bracknell on October 15th, 2007 12:10 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you very much :D. I'd love to borrow Sirius, Remus and Tonks from JKR and do nothing but write them forever - there's such great potential in the three of them, I think, how they've got all these connections and history between them. It's a fascinating dynamic, I think.

I think Sirius is totally fascinating, and I'm really pleased you like the way I write him. He's so endlessly complicated, I think, and I've wondered if the time he spent in Azkaban didn't leave him a bit of a Peter Pan, and he'd feel out of step with life once he's back in the world. I'd imagine re-connecting with Remus would be really important to him, becuase Remus has been through something similar - and it must have been difficult for him when the one person he knows starts spending time with a girl and potentially moving on. That whole OoTP period has great tragi-comic potential, I think.

I'm really glad you liked it. Naked!Sirius as a reward for your kind words? ;)
(no subject) - phoenixfyre13 on October 15th, 2007 01:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
jncar: Siriusjncar on October 15th, 2007 03:30 am (UTC)
Very funny. I loved the way Sirius and Remus kept talking about Tonks as if she weren't there. And Sirius's petty jealousy was funny and perfectly handled.

And it's too funny to think that Remus and Tonks aren't considerate enough to do some sort of silencing spell. I loved the line about the noises getting "rhythmical".

Great funny story. :)
JD: Naked!Siriuslady_bracknell on October 15th, 2007 12:12 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much :D.

I can imagine Sirius being a bit of a nightmare for Remus and Tonks - I really can't see him as a gracious gooseberry at all ;).

I'm so pleased you liked that line - I was over the moon when I checked and found rythmical was actually a real word because I desperately wanted him to use it, lol.

Naked!Sirius as a reward for you kind words?
Bratanimus: Rufus as Siriusbratanimus on October 15th, 2007 10:55 am (UTC)
Oh my goodness, I love this fic in so many ways I cannot think where to begin. First of all, all my favorite characters get some action, which is always a plus, lol. ;) Second, your Sirius is the perfect balance of surly and wistful (oh, the unvoiced line at the end about 'abandon me for her' just ripped me apart). Third, OMG, Banshee!Sex. I can totally see Sirius ending up with more than a handful of accidental one-night-stands he'd rather not talk about ever again (beleive it or not, I'd planned to write a chapter in mine about that very thing, and one of his is a vampire *gulp*). But the fact that your Sirius didn't NOTICE she was a banshee was freakin' hilarious (and fairly sad, too, because I think part of his obliviousness stems from his utter loneliness and desperation -- which is a fascinating facet of Sirius to explore). Fourth, I love your take on R/T's first 'I love you,' how it's Sulking!Sirius who opens a can of worms, and yet it turns out to be the catalyst for a confession that had needed to happen; unexpected, very sweet and creative. And fifth, I love how it dawns on Sirius that Remus and Tonks share something very special, a Lily/James kind of special, and something he'll likely never have. *sniffle*

So many great lines:

At the time, he’d put it down to her being excitable and him always having been an above-average lover ...

“Merlin,” he said, sinking into a chair. “I slept with a banshee.”
“How could you not have noticed?” Remus said, positively aghast.
“It was dark!”
Remus rolled his eyes. “It’s never that dark,” he muttered.

“And they were playing The Faces!”
“Really, Sirius,” Remus said, “it’s no excuse.”

A fabulous fic. Really great. :D
JD: Naked!Siriuslady_bracknell on October 15th, 2007 12:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much :D.

I think Sirius in that whole OoTP period is fascinating - he's given up even his freedom for Harry, and yet he's alone, rattling around in that house he hates with nothing to do, and then even his best mate deserts him for, of all things, a girl. I can imagine him being a bit churlish about it, even though I think he's got a really big heart, enough to be happy for him at the same time. I think he must have been lonely - and obviously he's been in prison, but it's different, I think, when you're in the world and can physically see the people around you moving on without you. And lonliness = banshee!sex. I mean we've all been there ;).

Maybe we should take it in turns and write Disaster for Sirius - only we have to pick all of his enounters out of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, lol.

Anyway, naked!Sirius in return for your kind words. Glad you liked it :D.

(no subject) - bratanimus on October 15th, 2007 12:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lady_bracknell on October 15th, 2007 12:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bratanimus on October 15th, 2007 01:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
shimotsuki: metamorfic_moonshimotsuki on October 16th, 2007 04:06 am (UTC)
Well! Um, there's no point telling you which lines made me laugh, because that would be most of them. But I have to give this one special mention for sheer unexpectedness:

"Excuse me," Tonks said, her Butterbeer bottle halting halfway to her lips, "could you at least wait until I've gone to bed to talk about me like I’m not here?"

It was so very Remus of him to immediately assume the worst once Sirius had outed his secret, but Tonks's response upstairs was perfect.

Earplugs! Versus a banshee! *snort* I also like that they didn't really work...

"I'm not being ridiculous," Remus said. Using a hospital-wing-scene line in a comedic moment is brilliant.

And then, your Sirius surprised me in the end, with his sudden insight and his realization that he does, after all, wish his friends well. I didn't see that shift coming, but I really liked the way it served to round out the end of the story.
JD: Naked!Siriuslady_bracknell on October 16th, 2007 11:51 am (UTC)
Thanks :D.

I really wanted the start of this to be like a blokey night in, and for Tonks to appear a bit unexpectedly, so I'm glad it worked.

I think there's so much mileage in this OoTP period with the three of them, so much potential for Sirius to be a bit conflicted and jealous, but I think underneath it all he's got a big enough heart to be pleased for them, too.

Glad you liked :D. And I'm giving out naked!Siriuses as a reward ;).
gilpin25: Keytothebookgilpin25 on October 17th, 2007 10:28 am (UTC)
I really loved this, you've got so many subtleties and emotions into a night of banshee!smut (with the pale, goth look;)) Like all the best humour, there's a lot of sadness and, in this case, loneliness hiding underneath.

I loved how Sirius landing him in it literally forced Remus to declare himself, and also gave Tonks the chance to say it in return. The whispered I was a bit worried it was only me said so much about their relationship, as did Remus' immediate thought that she was going to dump him at once and what the method was going to be.

Your Sirius is one of the best around because he's fun and infuriating and sexy. I think my favourite line of all was the band called Sirius Black is Innocent, So He Is and his supreme confidence and vulnerability with it are very touching. And I can almost understand myself how you could pick up a Banshee if they were playing The Faces, lol.

Tremendous stuff that made me grin and grin. I know you weren't too enthused about your prompts but I think they were purposefully made for you. ;)

JD: Naked!Siriuslady_bracknell on October 18th, 2007 09:32 am (UTC)
Thank you very much :D.

I did set out for this to be prompt protest crack!fic, but I just can't write the stuff - I always find myself over-thinking and eventually sympathising - I mean who amongst us can honestly say that at one time or another, in a fit of drunken lonliness, we haven't gone out and accidentally slept with a banshee? ;)

I'm so pleased you liked the name of the group - I loved that protest episode of Father Ted, so this was my little hommage to them. I think Sirius is one of those characters that's so complicated - at once he's got all this confidence, but seems to find it hard to empathise with others and connect - I always picture him a bit like a rock star, a Peter Pan type who's something of a perpetual teenager, and at once revels in and loathes it. I think it would have been very hard for him to have Remus - the one person who he must have thought would always be there for him - move on right in front of his eyes.

Glad you liked it :D.
Calyndra Rallinecalyndra on October 18th, 2007 03:43 am (UTC)
That was hysterical! I can't find anything I didn't like about it. Remus and Hestia...poor Hestia. She must have thought she had quite the catch. Tonks really did take that well. Insecure Remus on his way to the death chamber/bedroom to have that chat with Tonks was so very in character for him. Then there's the whole banshee/Sirius business. I'm still laughing about that. Especially Tonks' "Nothing wrong with falling for a Dark creature."

I also rather enjoyed the bit early on about the point being on another continent.

I did kind of want to say to Sirius, "Come on, are you a wizard or what? Can you say 'Muffilato?'"

Really, this fic just serves to prove again that Sirius is a drummer. Rhythm, yes. Musical awareness, not bloody likely.

JD: Naked!Siriuslady_bracknell on October 18th, 2007 09:36 am (UTC)
Thank you very much :D.

I always think of the Remus/Tonks relationship as being one of those ones where he's always in something of a panic that it's going to go wrong at any second, and she just breezes in and allays his fears - it's as if they see the same thing totally differently because of how optimistic or pessimistic they are about things working out.

Glad you liked it :D. Naked!Sirius in return for your kind words?
(no subject) - calyndra on October 18th, 2007 11:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
Elteaeltea on October 18th, 2007 10:18 pm (UTC)
Hooray, I finally have enough free time to leave comments!

I really loved this. You're wonderful at humorous banter, which is something I wish I could do well but have discovered is extremely difficult. You make it seem easy and natural, though, and some of the lines were just brilliant. I think my favorite was, "That's so far from the point that it and the point are actually on different continents", but there were many others. I really enjoyed reading this (and rereading it just now, to refresh my memory before commenting); it was very funny but also had substance and a lot of heart. =)
JD: Naked!Siriuslady_bracknell on October 22nd, 2007 11:30 am (UTC)
Thank you very much :D. I just adore writing Remus, Sirius and Tonks just talking - I think they're all such wonderful characters that sometimes it's fun to just wind them up and watch them go.

I'm really pleased you liked it :D. Naked!Sirius as a reward? ;)